Celtics Beaten. Best of 3…

Another Instant Classic saw the Celtics on the losing end thanks to the heroics of Ben Gordon.  I think I had about 3 heart attacks during this game.  And when it’s all said and done, we go back to Boston, tied at 2 games apiece.  Exactly like last year…

So, I present to you again, 10 things I thought about in between my heart attacks while watching this game.

1. Paul Pierce is tired.  He looks sluggish, he’s missing too many shots, and a double overtime game was not good to help that situation.
2. Rajon Rondo, another triple double.  is this just becoming the norm?
3. Kendrink Perkins is under-rated.  He’s a huge body, and when he went out with fouls in the 4th, the Bulls started to be able to get inside much more easily.
4. Great playoff foul on Ben Gordon late in the game.  But not hard enough.  I keep replaying the tying 3 he hit over and over in my head.
5. I still feel very comfortable about this series.  They have given us they’re ABSOLUTE BEST for 3 games, and we sit tied at 2, with 2 games in overtime, and home court advantage.
6. Big Baby’s jumper was off today.  And the Celtics lost.  This is not a coincidence.
7. Does Kevin Garnett look healthier?  Or am I just trying to convince myself that is the case?
8. We DESPERATELTY need a guy off the bench that can come in and score.
9. Ray Allen needs to be the go-to guy.
10. I FUCKING HATE JOAKIM NOAH.

See you in Boston…

RED SOX vs. YANKEES 2009. LET’S DO THIS!

Well, it’s that time of year.  The Yankees are coming to Fenway.  And already, we can tell they’re a bunch of pussy’s.  Sabathia won’t be pitching in the series, and neither will Chien Ming Wang due to his ERA being around Sabathia’s weight.  Cowards.  At least Lester gets to make Joba look like a little bitch tomorrow night, and we get to pound on good old Tinsel Elbow Burnett.

BRING IT ON BITCHES!

Chi-Town BEAT DOWN. Celtics Dominate

IT WAS A LAUGHER!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a statement game.  This series is going 5.  The Celtics showed that they’re still the defending champs, and that the Bulls still have a little work to do to get over the hump.  Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon disappeared.  Rose is a rookie, and Ben Gordon is just plain streaky.  Joakim Noah was again the most annoying person on the face of the earth, and Tyrus Thomas jumped around with a lot of athletic ability coupled with very little basketball skill.

The Celtics, however, were phenomenal from the beginning.  I present to you, again, 10 things I thought while watching the Celtics crush the Bulls:

1. Is Brian Scalabrine wearing a headband?  Is he really in the 9 man rotation?
2. HOLY HELL!  The Celtics went to Paul Pierce in the first half.  And he dominated.  He took over that game the way only a great player can.  13 points in the first 6 minutes, and the Bulls never even had a shot.  DOC!! HELLO!! YOU GOTTA KEEP GOING TO HIM EARLY!!  Nobody on the Bulls can stop him!
3. I don’t think I saw one good shot of Kevin Garnett looking like he was going to murder somebody.
4. I hope Ben Gordon enjoyed his flash-in-the-pan fluke in game 2.  Ditto for Rose in game 1.  Rose will be back…just not this series, or this season…
5. Rajon Rondo, you are ridiculous.  The entire city of Chicago just got RONDO’D!
6. Mikki Moore is no PJ Brown.  But I’m getting a little more comfortable with Marbury in the back court.
7. Glen Davis deserves a raise.  Big Baby/Ticket Stub is knocking down jumpers, dribbling the ball up the floor, playing OK defense and he’s a mammoth body inside.  he’s no Kevin Garnett, but we need him for any chance in the postseason.
8. Did Scal just knock down a 3?  Is Gabe Pruitt playing?  In the playoffs?  I wonder if he had a cold one after the game?
9. This series is over in 5.  The Bulls aren’t coming back from that.  I’m sorry, they’re just not.  The Bulls were flat, the crowd was dead, and the Celtics just got their swagger back.  KEEP FEEDING PIERCE!
10. PLEASE!  I’m begging you…KNOCK OUT JOAKIM NOAH!

 

SEE YOU SUNDAY!

SWEEP! Bruins pound Canadiens into submission…

Well, that is how you whip a little ass in the Stanley Cup Finals.  The Bruins went into Montreal, and absolutely hammered the Canadiens, ending their 100th year just 4 games into the playoffs.  Michael Ryder almost outscored his former team in the playoffs, Tim Thomas was spectacular in net, and Milan Lucic proved that he’s the last guy on earth that you would want to fuck with.

After Montreal came out strong again and scored a half minute into the game, the Bruins settled down, scored a whole bunch of goals, and pounded Montreal into submission.

That brings me to uber-pussy Mike Komisarek.  I mean, how many times is Lucic going to beat your ass this year?  He beat your ass in November, and then he beat your ass again last night.  This time in 2 punches.  So you respond by crosschecking him in the head and snapping your stick over his shoulder and face?  You are pathetic.  You’re outmatched, you’re outclassed.  have fun golfing, you turtling pussy.

NOVEMBER:

 

LAST NIGHT:

 

BRING ON THE RANGERS.  SEAN AVERY, PAYBACK IS DUE…

Bruins continue to beat down the Canadiens

So, I haven’t written about the Bruins in a long time.  But, I think one video from game 2 pretty much sums it up.  The following encounter shows a Bruins finesse player.  A player who is known for his passing and scoring abilities.  A player who missed a whole season due to a head injury.  A player who has NEVER BEEN IN A FIGHT IN HIS CAREER.  The other guy is some Montreal Canadien pussy who tried to be tough…

That, my friends, is a lefty K.O.

 

The Bruins continued the ass whipping tonight by going into Montreal without Cam-Neely-in-making Milan Lucic, but it didn’t matter.  After going down 1-0 early, the Bruins beared down (no pun intended) at beat the Canadien pussies in their own building.  Former Canadien Pussy Michael Ryder tallied the winner, Thomas was stellar, and the B’s have the Habs in a stranglehold.  A commanding 3-0 series lead, and I think it’s going to be great to sweep them on their own ice.  Cup Crazy bitches.  Here come the Bruins!

RAY ALLEN SAVES THE DAY!

Ray Allen/Jesus Shuttlesworth.  Thank You.  Thank You for redeeming your pitiful game 1.  Thank You for coming alive in the 2nd half.  Thank You for bailing out a dreadful game from Paul Pierce.  Thank You for goig shot for shot with Ben Gordon.  Rajon Rondo.  Thank You too.  Thank You for going hard to the baskett every time you touched the ball.  Thank You for getting Rose and Hinrich into early foul trouble.  And thank you for that 18 footer over Noah with 40 seconds left.  Kevin Garnett. Thank You for not murdering anybody.

Anyway…here are 10 things I thought about while watching the Celtics save their season…

1. Is Joakim Noah the most annoying player in the league?
2. Is Joakim Noah the ugliest player in the league?
3. has Joakim Noah ever seen a girl naked?
4. Don’t you want to punch Joakim Noah in the face?

OK, those first 4 are just about my weird distaste for Noah and his stupid hair.  Here are the real 10.

1. How many times does Kevin Garnett clench his jaw and scream “MOTHER FUCKER” during a game?
2. Why can the Celtics not figure out how to defend the Bulls high school playbook of all pick-and-rolls?
3. Does Rajon Rondo have a ceiling?  This guy gets better every single game. (Triple-Double tonight)
4. Paul Pierce needs rest.  He couldn’t even elevate over Derrick Rose in the 4th.
5. Ray Allen is back. 30 points, 28 in the 2nd half, and the clinching 3.
6. If Kevin Garnett was playing, considering he is the best pick and roll defender in the league, the Celtics are up 2-0 with 2 decisive victories.
7. Glen Davis hitting that 18 footer off of Rondo drives is going to be a huge decider in the outcome of this series.
8. Derrick Rose is freakishly good.  He’s just a rookie, but I’m terrified of what he is capable of.
9. Somebody on the Celtics needs to get a hand on Ben Gordon.  And he needs to be punished whenever he goes to the rim.
10. Joakim Noah is a douche.  And I can’t wait to be at the United Center on Thursday in Sunday.  The token guy wearing green in the sea of red.

Red Sox Rolling…

Who says he can’t hit the high inside fastball??!?

Happy Patriots Day to all.

Since the Red Sox are finally playing baseball again, The Bruins are steamrolling the Canadiens, (we will get to the Celtics later on), I have decided to stop being lazy and start writing again.

The Red Sox finished a great 4 game sweep of the Orioles and have now won 5 straight.  Beckett, Lester, Wakefield, Masterson and Papelbon all looked stellar, and low and behold, the offense started hitting.  Welcome back MVP, Jacoby, and Papi.  Even Varitek popped is 3rd dinger…

Meanwhile, the Yankees crapped the bed in their new stadium debut, they then gave up 22 runs to Cleveland, and Chien Ming Wang has an ERA up there with our national debt.

Let’s hope the Red Sox keep it up…the Yankees come to town this weekend.

Red Sox squeak by. Anyone wanna start hitting?

 

More photos » by Chris Carlson – AP

This guy hits bombs.

www.overthemonster.com

Mark it down: the Red Sox now have two wins on the season.

After a couple of bombs by Jason Bay and six solid innings from starter Brad Penny, the Red Sox took home the 5-4 victory over the Angels on Saturday.

Bay hit his bombs in the 7th and 9th innings while Mike Lowell, slotted right behind him in the lineup, hit his first home run of the season in the fifth inning. While the Angels made it close (bases loaded in the 9th), Jonathan Papelbon closed out the game with a very long at-bat against Howie Kendrick.

The bottom of the order was really where the Sox won today’s game. Rocco Baldelli went 2 for 4 and Jason Varitek went 2 for 3. The one through four hitters went a combined 1 for 15 with a walk (Kevin Youkilis). Jacoby Ellsbury led off the game with a hit.

But hey, let’s not forget that Penny wasn’t bad. He helped the bullpen a bit by going six innings and allowing five hits, three runs, two walks and struck out two. He did give up two home runs to Mike Napoli, though.

Ramon Ramirez was the gap between Penny and Papelbon. Ramirez has been spectacular so far this season as he added 1.2 innings of work to his season total. He gave up just one hit and one walk.

While the Sox won this game, they also got very lucky. The top of the order has to start producing if they want to consistently win games. Penny was better than I think some would have thought, but if he was any worse this game would have been the Angels’. Papelbon got touched up quite a bit, too, which is not a good sign.

It’s a win though so let’s be happy with it. The rubber game is Sunday, with Josh Beckett taking on Dustin Moseley at 3:35 p.m. EST.

Cubs blow late lead. Soriano continues sucking…

ABOVE: $220 million of horse shit.

 

I haven’t bashed the Cubs yet this season.  They were 2-1 coming into today and 1 game over .500 should be good enough to win the NL Central.

That being said, I just LOVED watching their late inning collapse.  new closer Kevin Gregg blew his first save (Assist: Soriano) which should open up some debate as to who should be closing: him or Marmol.

Anyway, the Cubs would have won this game if Soriano didn’t COMPLETELY BOTCH a judgment on a fly ball in the 9th inning against the Brewers.  With 1 down in the 9th, and a man on 1st, the Cubs holding a 1 run lead, Rickie Weeks hit a deep drive to left.  Soriano started in, and before it was too late, he realized the ball was actually hit over his head.  This is par for the course for the shiteous Alfonso Soriano.  The tying run scored, Weeks ended up on second.  A passed ball and a grounder to short, and the Cubs blow the game. HA!

The only bad thing was Soriano’s blunder cost me a win for Rich Harden i fantasy. Oh well.  L

Bruins vs. Canadiens. Old Time Hockey.

 

www.barstoolsports.com - Going into last night’s 80th game of the season, Bruins fans had but one thought—”Nobody get fucking hurt!”. Add to the fact that winning or losing couldn’t affect their playoff seeding and you figured you might see them pull back the reins a bit at the cost of a game, even against their blood rival who still needed a point to lock up a postseason spot.

Uh-uh. The Bs and Montreal Averys put on one of, if not the, most entertaining games of the season with the locals pulling out a 5-4 victory in a rollicking, get-your-nose-dirty, playoff intensity-level game that made fans salivate like a Pavlov dog for the 2nd season to commence. In what just might be a 1st round playoff preview (please, make it happen), Mark Recchi’s 4th point and 2nd goal of the night ended the nasty, scrum-filled affair with a sweet feed from Patty Bergeron just after Bergie made a crunching hit to swipe the puck. (And man, tell me #37’s game isn’t rounding into form at the perfect time—kid was great last night).

Though the Bs watched their 3-1 lead become a 4-3 deficit, they kept battling and knotted it on Big Z Chara’s power play tally early in the 3rd. And though Tank Thomas wasn’t his usual stellar self (35 saves on 39 shots), he too battled his ass off after surrendering a 4th goal he’d like a do-over on, to make some key saves down the stretch and in OT. But it wasn’t merely the goals that had the joint rockin’, it was the outright nastiness between the two teams who seem to genuinely hate each other; the extra shit after the whistle, the multitude of face washes, the extra cross-checks, the Canadiens willingness to be abrasive and antagonistic but unwillingness to answer the bell. This game felt like two teams attempting to carve out some pre-playoff territory in preparation for war next week. And one team is clearly more skilled and more physical.

I say bring the fuckers on. Let’s do this again. Screw the ‘ghosts’ (do you believe in friggin’ Casper too?). Bs vs. Habs. Let’s have at it. Because the Bs will treat the Canadiens like Japan treats the ocean. They’re hungry as hell and are much deeper top to bottom. Simply, the Habs are ripe for the picking and the Bruins are men on a mission. You hear it in their voices and see it in their actions. How sweet it’ll be to leave the Euro-Habs and their ‘100th Anniversary’ logo in the 1st round trash heap, wondering what hit them as the Montreal media proceeds to make the Boston media look like James Lipton and probes more than a horny alien. Or the Bs can just smack around the Rangers, their two $136K/point centers, and their ‘gee, why’s he so self-loathing and likes pocketbooks?’ agitator. But if given a choice, give us the Habs—that rivalry just dwarves the rivalry with the NYR.

CUP CRAZY, BITCHES!